25 October 2008

Unabashed Homophobe: Can Jerry Lewis Die Already?

Jerry Lewis is mad comfortable saying "fag." He did it last year on his fuckin' telethon and again this week during a televised news conference in Australia. When a reporter asked for Jer's opinion on the national sport of cricket, he replied: "Oh, cricket? It's a FAG game. What are you, nuts?"

Jerry starred in one of my favorite films, Martin Scorsese's The King of Comedy, co-starring Unabashed Queer Queen and inspiration, Sandra Bernhard. During Sandra's 2006 appearance on The View, she revealed (now I sound like fuckin' Perez Hilton) that, in addition to referring to her as "fish lips," Jerry also wanted her to do her own stunt, falling into a glass (parsons) table covered in lit candles, wearing only a bra and panties. He was probably intimidated by her sexual ambiguity and the fact that she wouldn't fuck him so he wanted her dead.

Shame, shame, deep-rooted gay-shame on you, Jerry Lewis, you incontinent alter cocker. If he's saying fag on television during fucking charity events just imagine what he says in his day-to-day life. I'm sure you can catch him down at Katz' Deli demanding that his "shvartze" waitress bring him some mustard for his tongue sandwich. He needs to get abashed and catch a case of some straight guilt. I want him to be nervous every time he even thinks of a gay person, be scared to utter the word, like some guilt-ridden white person who whispers the word "black." Whisper it, old man, whisper it! Look around before you say it, make sure I don't hear it cause I'll pop out of the bushes and cut you!

He's eighty-two years old, he's had a colorful existence, it's time to pack it up and call it a life. I'll help him pack.


Anonymous said...

fucking right on. dude's a supreme douche bag. i don't know why he was ever allowed to keep doing anything after the first incident. hate-crime me once, shame on you; hate-crime me twice, shame on me.

- tom

Sarah T. said...

"I'll help him pack"

he also thinks women aren't funny.
This woman thinks *he* isn't funny.

But you, Matt, are very very funny.